In May of 2019, I became a mom but things didn't go how I had pictured. Getting Lily earth side turned out to be a little complicated and things didn't get any simpler when we got home. 

I had just spent 8 months of my life diving deep into labour and birthing and figured the whole what-to-do-after-birth thing would just happen, it's all a natural process right? Everyone sleeps, eats, and poops right?

But Lily didn't. 

My family would have to come over during their lunch hours to hold or be beside Lily so I could shower and it would take me upwards of 5 hours at night to get her to sleep. I didn't dare ask for help because I had convinced myself that if I woke my husband up, he'd crash his car on his way to work.

I was a zombie and was so sleep deprived and hormonal that at the time, I didn't even realize how deep I had gotten. 

The one thing that I was able to recognize though was that holding a crying baby when I was crying and freaking out...

One of the scariest things about becoming a mom of two was figuring out how I was going to juggle a newborn and a toddler when it came to nap time. When my oldest was a newborn, naps were so difficult that I literally had to have family come over during their lunch breaks so I could take a shower or get ready for the day because Lily wouldn’t nap on her own for more than 5-10 minutes without level-5 screaming. It was exhausting and heartbreaking! 

Fast forward a year and a half, I was in a much better position; confident in sleep and my abilities as a mom. This was partly thanks to it being my second child and partly due to the fact that I became a certified sleep consultant but still, those fears of an overtired and cranky baby still lingered under the surface. I was so anxious about naptime but as I continued on, nap after nap, putting my knowledge into practice, things got easier.

If you’re feeling anxious about sleep when you have...

Babies are completely reliant on us. They need their parents or caregivers to feed them, clean them, dress them and help regulate their emotions.

They look to us for how they should be feeling, if we're calm and relaxed, this tells them that they're safe and can calm as well. 

If we're stressed, on edge, or upset, our little ones can sense that and will follow our lead. When they're in that state, it makes it really difficult for them to calm enough to fall asleep. 

That's why they need us to take the lead and show them our calm. 

 

But what if the very thing that we're stressing about won't happen unless we calm down?!

It's a vicious cycle right? 

I fully understand this because it was me. I experienced those late-night intrusive thoughts filled with all of the negativity, anxiety, and hopelessness with both of my babies. Not only was being awake and bouncing my baby for hours exhausting but the emotional toll that I was putting on myself was almost...